I tried to let go but kept holding on.Why can't i just fall?

I can't help but think this is all my fault that i've lost my best friend,That i've messed it all up.

I can't help but think That i've gone and messed atound leaving him out and not helping out.

Ryan you were my best friend and i couldn't even stop you from killing yourself. im so sorry that i haveb't helped at all. Even though you said i did. you said to me i was the best person in the world and i feel that i've let you down. I know you will never read this but i want you to know i love you like a brother man! and im gunna miss you so fucking much everyday!of my life.

R.I.P

Ryan Jason Tompson.

You fucking rock man! love you to death!

Okei peoples out there!

There is this really amazing person and she wants to kill her self because she doesn't think any one cares.

But we all know that everyone cares and she wants me to prove it to her so im going to.

You must be 100% honest!

don't lie i need you people to be honest.

Show her she is loved and that shes amazing!

comment on this please and

Her name is melissa

her username is killxusxall

Thanks.

Okay now i know i have been writting in my journal alot.

But this time i need these people to know i care about them.

Diana

Ryan

Ryan

Mellissa

Mellissa

Rachel

Samm

claire bear

Paige

Kc

Josh

Hilda

Heaps of others but these are the main ones.

I love them to death and dat will never ever change.

Yupp i have.

I've figured that if you dont have real friends you really will be boring as hell!

Even if you don't know them they will still be there holding you up?

I came to this site to see what it was like and its been the best site ever really.

I've met so many people out of this

and i love them all to bits i've gotten love from heaps of people but i really only come on her to talk to diana and Kc and claire and ryan and a few others.

They are the main friends on here they don't care what people think of them.Im glad i know them they are so close to me and nobodys gunna change that!

So you wanna mess wit them don't bother i'll be there waiting for you.And im never gunna let them fall cause lets just say im their gaurdian angel.

=)

Well byezz!

Well some one has told other think im fake.soo to this im not gunna make myself prove to them that im not fake.Because i know who i am and really those people are fuckwits.So the reason why im still alive is cause of only a few people.

But thanks to these people who think im fake i wanna die and leave.

I didn't come here to get accused of eing fake i came to make more friends.

But by the looks of it nobody really cares how i may feel because lets just face it if they feel good nobody else shuld cause its their scene well guess what. Fuck you all who think im fake cause im nt and if you wanna argue came to me instead of talking about me behind my back.

The people i know,Know who i am,What i look like and how i act when im drunk.But people over the world can't handle having their life getting treated like shit so they go do it to others.

So if you wanna say someting about me say it to myface not behind my back. You make think your all that but try saying something mean to other peoples face then see how manly you are.

Im sick of people treating me like shit im not im scott im me nobody else im not a fake im real! but people just can't see that.

Hmm well to you who think im fake.

FUCK YOU!

Im not gunna act all nice and cherry any more to people who think im fake im not

So just say it to my face not behind me back ie!

So to those who care.

Im not leaving because of you im leaveing because of them.

Im sorry.

Im no good here anymore.

Yours sincerly.

Scott Richards.

When i see your smile i get this feeling like no other has given me

When you say you love me i go all funny inside

When you talk to me i can't help but smile

When ever your on i automaticly go to you page just to say i love you.

There is no other like you

your so

BEAUTIFUL

AMAZING

FANTASTIC

PERFECT

CUTE

PRITTY

THE BESTEST!

your the main thing im living for i can't help but look at your photos.

Your my smexxi cuddlybear!

I love you baby!

LoVe YoUr TeDdYbEaR

xoxoxoxo my smexxi boo!

My mom:Paige

My dad:Tyeson

My smexxi boo:DIANA!

My gay best friend:Trenton

My sister:Tashawasha

My brother:Trenton

My good Twin:Hilda

My evil twin:

My step sister:Rach

My step brother:

My step mom:

My step dad:

My best friend:KC

My lover:Diana

My gaurdian angel:Scott(different one)

My evil angel:Camron

My daughter:KC

My son:

Okay if you wanna be part of my family write a comment 2 me and tell me

The ones with names are already taken.

Baby! i know i have already done a journal but still i love you more than anything in this world! you make my darkest days soo broght your the one keeping me alive your so amazing in everyway! your soo funny and cute and ahh! there are no words to explain you!Your the best thing that has ever happened to me! your the one i love and miss every day!

U have the most amazingist thing ever!

I love you baby!

My smexxi cudllybear!

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Claire bear.

She's there for me,One of my bffs,The most weirdest person you could ever talk to.

She's there for me when im down and didnt wanna live any longer.

She makes me smile by saying a cheesy joke.

She is claire and nobody can replace her woot woot go claire!

 Claire im glad your my friend im gad i met you!

Thank you claire for all you've done.

Mmk update....

Paige had a tumor Thats why she was only gunna have 5 months but now they have gotten rid of it. But still they arn't totally sure if she will live but shes coming home next week and as you will all know we are sharing a profile!

To all those people paige had her operation and she is okay...Well not really they said she only has a few months to live.like only 5 months and omg i dont know whot to do.She is awake and they just told me and omg noo i dont want to lose her! she is one of the 2 things holding me 2gether! please god whyy her!?!?!?!?!?!?!

I dont want to lose her she is my best friend and i love her to much.

But if she does pass on she will give me her account and god why her?! i love her to death! =(

Thank you for reading im sorry to all of you who love and care for her.

Diana,Whot words could i use to explain her??

Shes amazing in every way,She has the personality to make you smile rilly big!!! and shes just the most amazingest person in the whole wide world!

If She could be explained in three words they would be '

Shmexxi,Amazing,normal

She doesn't try to fit in she just chills in her little world and lives her life.

She is my baby and the one i have been looking for,for a long time and now i have found her.

I love her with all my heart and im not kidding around i would never want to hurt her.

My Heart burns like a thousand flames for her,She can make me laugh with any words she says,I always wanna talk to her because she makes me hapy and smile.

Shes My world and life really the main thing i look forward to coming home to.Your the best thing thats happened to me and Im never gunna stop loving you,I will never hurt you,Swear at you or abuse you in any way because i have never felt this way about Anyone i think im falling in love heheh.

Your the most smexxiest person in this world and no one can ever replace the hole you have filled in my heart!

I love you baby! your my world and that will never change!!.

Da sexxy baby in my life!

XxxxDianaxxx

You are soooo amazing!

The one person thats there

The one person i need when im sad

The one person that makes me smile

The one person i love with all my heart

The one person i can trust

The one person who puts butterflies in my stumich.

Is you!

Love you lotts!

Okay paige is still on the machine its almost been a week they havent goten her into Surgury yet cause They been getting more patients in and out and they get to live have have operation but they cant fit paige in thats just not fucking fair if they dont fix her They can go burn in hell!

Mmk well im bored but i love all these people!

Paige! (Imnotlikeyou)

Your so amazing and I love you so much! This pic was the last one i got of you but still its the best your so amazing and wow and woo lol you make me smile each time! thanks for being there for me paige'ebear your amazing!Why is the world doing this to you? making you suffer taking your breath away?Your the most amazingest person in the fucking world! thanks again Gawgybear!x0x0x0x0x

Kayla (xKillxhannahx)

Kayla you have the power to make me smile any time of the day your so funny and amazing and There are so many things i could say about you but i cant fit them into this little Sentance.Your a amazing person,I can see why paige loves you!Thanks Kayla! x0x0x0x

Josh (p13)

Your soo random and funny and Your rilly awesome! you can come up with things that will make me scream like a little girl! i mean thats pritty impresive! lol anyways as i was saying in my shout out box i will get me cookies back! and i will eat them...........in front of you then ride off into the sun set on my pink streamer bike! lol screaming as you chase me in the car lol.Thanks man your rilly funny to talk with!.

Sarah(sarahbeara911)

Sarah is there any way to thank you? you have been a great suport! with the whole paige thing! your seriously an amazing person i swear your an angel sent from heaven.Your friend ship means the world to me thank you so much! i will always be here for you! xx

Rachel(Jaredsgirl)

Sorry there isnt a pic but still you know who you are your amazing and funny and i will be here till the end no matter whot you have helped me so much thank you so much hunn.

Okay i will add more later mmk i just dont know who else to put lol

Okay um well i just got a call on my cell phone and paige has had more trouble breathing and she is now back on the machine and they don't know whot's wrong with her.So she is back on the breathing machine.I don't know why this keeps happening so she might have to go in for surgery.Im in tears at the momment and sorry to those who were wanting to talk to her today when she came home.

Im Really upset at the momment and i don't know whot to do?!

For those who care about her please i just want you to know whot ever happens she will be in our hearts and minds.

Thank you for your time

Scotty

Name:Scotty

Age:17

Date of birth:26th of october

Single/taken?:Single and looking

Gay/bi/straight:Bi

Whot are you doing right now:Writting this and listening to story of the year

Any latest dramas?:My bfffl crashing

Fav tv program:Family guy

Fav food:Mac 'n Cheese

Fav colour:Black,pink,white,Purple

Best friends name:Paige (paige'e,Paige'ebear)

Hair colour:Black

Eye colour:Blue

Do you think your thin?:Umm not rilly

Whos your role modle?:Paige cause she been there for me!

Got any nicknames?:Yupp! Scottyboo,Scottybear,Scotty,Scoboo,Mr smexxi!,Emotional hottie (LMAO!)

yupp dats most of me btw ladys and gentelmen(sp?) if you choose to love moi i will never hurt or cheat lie or hit.

Well bye

~*Paige'ebear*~

Paige there is so much i could say about her She makes me smile by screaming out Scottybear.Your the light at the end of the tunnel you are my best friend and always will be. Your the one thats been there for me for ever!

She is the high light of my life and she aways will be.You are the person i can trust to hold my darkest secret and you would never tell anyone. Your the one thats Been there through my most embarising momments. Like the time i forgot my pants or the time when i was running and slipped into gemmas boobs she slapped me so hard.

Your the one thats there for me when i got my lip done and my tounge you saw the needle and didnt want to get yours done.You are the one that makes laugh so hard that milk or juice or beer would come out my nose your so amazing and I love yoo! and will till death do us part lmao!

Your the one that holds my hand and hugs me when im scared,Your the one that helps me plot revenge on the bastard that hurts me,Your the one thats there when i need someone the most,Your paige no one could ever compare,No one could take your place your the best thing that's happened to me.

You help me with any problems even if its to do with maths Your there for me when no one else is Your always gunna be my Gawjus bfffl! you are paige hear you rawr! (Ahh).The covosations we have are weird and stupid and Thats whot i love about you.Your the most amazingist person ever! no one and i mean NO ONE! could replace the paige'ebear!

She is sooo purty!

Lovers her lots!!!!!!!!

Okay people that know paige (imnotlikeyou)

She just got in a car crash! she was like 5 minutes home and then bang! and it was just down the street! i heard a bang and i ran down the street and i saw a car that looked like paiges and then i thought it was her naughbor but it wasn't and i ran to the car to see who it was and it was paige! omg i rang the ambulance and they came and then she is now geting rushed off to hostpital! omg i dont know whot to do!]

Omg if she dies im gunna kill mtself she is my fuking world and i cant live with out her! i love her to much!!!!